We got change, its changing all the time...


...You got yours and I got mine
Promise me that you won't promise me
Revelation sunshine because I'm

Out of my mind
Into yours
~Cree Summer in "Revalation Sunshine"

I had an encounter with my young cousin today. She came over and before she left I gave her a doll she said she wanted. She met me with no enthusiasum. Said to her friend it must be for her [little] sister.

It was one of the only times I felt rejected by her. It made me inexplicably sad. 

Later, we talked over the phone. I had to squeeze it out of her, but she told me she got rid of all her dolls and she wasn't really into them any more. She truly didn't want to tell me. I guess because she didn't want to hurt my feelings... 

My feelings got hurt anyway. Not because she wasn't interested in dolls anymore - that, I understood -  but it was that she was scared to tell me.

Guys, she got rid of her doll house. That's how serious she is. 

My heart breaks a little at that, but mostly, I understand. People move on. Grow up. Change focus.

Which brought me to my Revalation Sunshine... I cannot go on collecting as I have. I know I made commitments to cut back on what I wil spend next year. I plan to hold myself to that.

However... I have a lot of dolls right now and a lot of plans for them. Some of which I'm not even that excited about.

So, I'm cleaning house. 

Getting rid of every doll that I don't absolutely love. 
Scrapping every project that doesn't seriously excite me.

That may prove difficult because, of course, my interests come in waves, but I think I'm clear headed enough to make the decisions now. Some passions were never intense. Some things I've bought just to have a 'set' of something. 

I realise now that that's bullshit. I should have dolls I love. Why spend time, money and energy in things that kinda look like a thing I liked at one point.

Especially now that I'm commisioning a beautiful soul to repaint dolls for me. I've already changed my mind about a doll I've already sent her. 

I regret that. 

It's fall cleaning time everybody. There's gonna be a bunch of shit on ebay soon.

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The night is still young (How dare we sit quietly)
The night is still young (And watch the world pass us by)
The night is still young (How dare we sit quietly)
So are we

"The Night is Still Young" by Nicki Minaj

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